I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
