he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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