Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i think my tv is drunk
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
