Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
accomplished twins. life is a go
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
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Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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