me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
