Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize