So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
