i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All the doctor said was why
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
