I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize