I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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