I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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