I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize