If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
