I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
