I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
