No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
