are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
