with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
