He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize