Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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