From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
