Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
