My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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