Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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