that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
