It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
ok first of all what the fuck
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
