My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize