im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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