I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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