guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
love makes seman taste better
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize