he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize