I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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