You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
