I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
