I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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