Buhtt sex?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
