dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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