I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
