she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you win again, gameday.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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