i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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