I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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