did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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