Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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