yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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