I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
