We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Randomize
