I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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