So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
