i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
3 2 1 whiskey
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i out mim tonsoeep
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
