last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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