Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
