whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
