Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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