just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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