So drunk its hurt
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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