i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
