i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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