glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize