She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
