Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
