the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
